honey bea or killer bea?

so here's the disclaimer for today ... i work at home.

lots of days i don't shower until i get ready for bed.

sometimes i stay in my pajamas all day. some days it's a wet swimsuit.

i happened to be on a business call when i potty trained my little guy. he did the "big job" for the first time when i was on the phone with frank from texas.

you try balancing a phone on your shoulder, a toddler holding his ankles, a wad of toilet paper, and a chocolate kiss (as in "you poop in the toilet and i'll give you a piece of candy") all while carrying on a "professional" conversation. mercifully i did remember to mute out before telling wyatt WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS POOPING LIKE A BIG BOY. frank has no idea how close he came to getting an ear-full of that.

i was chatting with my friend lisa the other day about the cycle of goal setting and goal getting.

several years ago we were both in the same situation: we had new babies at home and husbands who worked all the time. we didn't want to go back out in to the traditional workforce and we didn't want our husbands to go there either.

we wanted to have our cake and eat it too.

and we both pulled it off.

we set outrageous goals for ourselves and we got them. but then there's this little mechanism that kicks in ... "what's next?"

lisa reminded me that "what's next?" doesn't necessarily have to be anything new, or bigger or better. it might just be living the dream of working at home with my husband and my kids every day.

you gotta sell yourself every day on the dream.

be grateful for it. be grateful for what you've got.

so these posts ... well, they're not filled with profound revelations or office drama. just my life, for which i'm extremely grateful.

occasionally i DO have a profound revelation or two, but the most drama we get around here is usually generated by aunt bea, the dog, who has recently taken to acting out "baywatch for amphibians" as she frantically rescues frogs from our pool.

that dog, that sweet sweet aunt bea who rescues helpless creatures and lets wyatt ride her like a bull, well, we call her "the honey bea".

but this past week, her evil alter ego has emerged. we'll call her "killer bea".

you see, when she was just a puppy i trained her to fetch the newspaper in the mornings and bring it in to the house in exchange for a "pupcorn" treat.

when you get 80 inches of snow in one season and you have a near vertical driveway, as we did in colorado, a newspaper-retrieving dog comes in handy.

and she takes this job very seriously.

sure, there's food involved, but she brings that paper in every morning looking like a clydesdale. very proud of herself.

but this past week, killer bea has been taking this job WAY to seriously.

she's been "asking" to be let out at about 4am. you know the way they let you know they need out ... paw paw paw to the face.

so, rather than wake up to a steaming pile on my brand new carpeting, i obliged.

and, conveniently, she returned with the paper after doing her business.

we trade the paper for a pupcorn and got back to bed.

but last night i happened to already be awake at 4am and, hearing the paper delivery car drive past our house, realized that's when the paper gets delivered ... just in time to get the paw to the face.

sure enough, she trotted out, picked the paper up and came right back in without even so much as a decoy squat.

killer bea. bad bad wakin-me-up-way-too-early-just-to-get-the-paper-and-faking-the-potty-thing dog.

now, i could go the doggy door route, but that which lets the doggy out can also let the armadillo in. i do not like armadilloes in my yard and i do not want them in my house. imagine stubbing your toe on one of those bad boys in the middle of the night.

so tonight i will ignore the paw paw paw alert telling me THE PAPER IS HERE THE PAPER IS HERE. as much i enjoy the police blotter published in our little small town paper ... (actual post)

"Dispatch received a call at 3:02 pm by a man out on 'Hollerin Woman Creek Road' reporting that some teenagers were talking too loud. When he confronted them one young male pulled his shorts down to his ankles. Including his undershorts. There were some teenage girls there and they laughed. Also, one of them had on too short shorts."

now WHO doesn't want to wake up to that! i mean, really, that's enough to make you shoot coffee straight out of your nose and then i'm really really grateful i'm still in my pajamas ...

ahhh, life is good. really, really good.

even with killer bea.